Supporting A Survivor

Listen. Believe. Support.

If someone you care about has shared that they are experiencing domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, your response matters.

You don’t need to have all the answers. Listening without judgment, believing them, and connecting them with resources can make a meaningful difference.

Believe Them

One of the most important things you can do is believe a survivor when they tell you about their experience. Avoid questioning why they stayed, what they did, or whether they fought back.

Listen Without Judgment

Let them share as much or as little as they want. Try to listen more than you speak.

Helpful responses:

“I’m glad you told me.”
“I believe you.”
“You don’t deserve this.”
“How can I support you?”

Respect Their Decisions

Leaving an abusive relationship can be dangerous and complicated. Survivors know their situation better than anyone else. Respect their choices and offer to help them connect with an advocate if they want additional support.

Take Care of Yourself, Too

Supporting someone you care about who is experiencing violence can be difficult. It’s okay to seek information and support for yourself while respecting the survivor’s privacy. An advocate can also help friends and family understand how to provide safe, supportive assistance.

Offer Practical Help

You might:

Watch children during appointments
Help them connect with an advocate to develop a personalized safety plan.
Offer transportation
Offer to safely store copies of important documents
Help locate community resources
Check in regularly

Know What Not to Say

Avoid comments like:

These statements can unintentionally increase shame or isolation.

Encourage Professional Support

Offer to help connect them with:

If They Are in Immediate Danger

If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. If it is safe to do so, encourage them to contact a local domestic violence or sexual assault program for confidential support.